The Truth About Moving In With Your Girlfriend Or Boyfriend Before Marriage

Ready to take your relationship to the next level and move in together? Here are some things you should know first…

So, you’ve decided to take the next step in your relationship – you’re moving in with your girlfriend/boyfriend. It’s a big step.  In the past, couples didn’t generally move in together until after marriage, but for a lot of couples, moving in comes first. 

And while moving in together is an exciting time, it’s a make-or-break time for couples. Want to know the secret to making it a success? We reveal all below.

 

Are you really ready?

Moving in together too soon is one of the top reasons relationships end. But how do you know when the time is right? Some things to think about:

You spend so much time together, you may as well be living together

If you’re spending most evenings and weekends staying at your partner’s, it could be a sign that you’re ready to move in together. It can make sense to get a place that you both share, instead of one of you keeping a place that you barely use. You’ll cut cost in half!

You want to take the next step in your relationship

Moving in together is a step forward in your relationship. For a lot of couples, it’s the ultimate step, as you decide to spend your lives together and share a home and create more special memories.

You can both afford it

Couples shouldn’t really move in together until they’ve discussed finances. You should discuss how each of you will contribute, how you will save money and discuss your future goals. Arguments about money can break a relationship, but if you try to get on top of things before you move in together, you’ll know what each other’s expectations are.

You’re ready to commit to each other

Relationships progress naturally, and if you know you’re ready to commit to the other person, moving in can be a great step. It could be the precursor to getting married, or it could be enough that you simply live together.

Top tips for making it a great experience

Once you’ve had all the difficult conversations, it’s time to make moving in together happen. Some of the best tips to make moving in together a great experience are:

Set some ground rules

While you don’t need to make a relationship/roommate agreement a la The Big Bang Theory, it can be a good idea to set some ground rules to ease you into living together. From working out different responsibilities to what you expect around cleanliness and paying the bills, make sure you both agree on how living together should work, before you get the keys!

Make space for the both of you

Moving in together can be a big adjustment, and you’ll both soon learn the art of compromise. Firstly, make space for each other – that includes each other’s things. Try to be respectful of each other’s space and keep your bad habits in check. The first weeks and months will be a learning curve, but you’ll soon settle into a routine.

Talk to each other

Talk, talk, talk. Even if you don’t think you need to. Communication becomes even more important in a relationship once you live together. Share your concerns and problems and if you’re not happy about something – say it. Raising problems as they happen can avoid resentment and help you find some positive ways to move forward.

Commit to date nights

It’s easy to settle into a pattern of staying in together night after night. But this could mean your relationship soon gets dull. Commit to getting out and enjoying date nights together. From eating out to going to the movies – try to enjoy some regular date nights outside the house. And even if you do prefer to stay in, try doing something new and different at home.

Don’t lose who you are as individuals

Moving in together is wonderful, especially as you start making memories together. But remember not to lose sight of who you are as individuals. Maintain your own interests, relationships and hobbies to help you build a stronger relationship.

Never go to bed angry

All couples argue, and sometimes they can be terrible. But where you can, try not to go to bed angry. Try to patch things up before you go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning – things will feel much better. Most of the time! And tomorrow is always a new day.

Split the chores, save the relationship

And now we get to one of the leading causes of arguments in couples who live together – the chores. Moving in together comes with a lot of change, but it’s important you both take on your share of the chores. Some tips to help make this easier:

 

• Work out all the chores that need doing around the house. See if you can divvy up the list between you. One of you might enjoy vacuuming while the other enjoys doing the laundry – work it out between you and set some expectations around when everything should be done 
• If one of you cooks, the other should clean up. Keep things fair!
• Make things easier on yourselves where you can. Can you afford a cleaner or a gardener? This could save you both a lot of time, and save some arguments too.
• Don’t let your own chores build up. This can lead to a messy living space, and lead to some arguments that could otherwise be avoided.
• Keep each other’s schedules in mind. If one of you is working late or is going through a stressful time, be considerate and make the other’s life easier. 
• Create a shared calendar. This can help you keep on top of each other’s commitments and activities and can help avoid some arguments over the chores or who’s cooking dinner that night.

 

There are a lot of amazing things about moving in together, but it’s not a step to enter into lightly. Be upfront and honest about what you both want and work together to make it work. Take your relationship to the next level and enjoy sharing even more of your lives with each other.